Do it Scared

Fear has been a constant presence in my life, woven into the fabric of my experiences from an early age. Growing up in the shadow of abuse, fear became my protector, whispering promises of safety in exchange for silence and invisibility. I believed that by striving for perfection, I could somehow shield myself from harm and win the approval of those around me. But fear proved to be a flawed guardian, unable to shield me from the pain and humiliation I endured.

As I navigated through life, fear morphed into anxiety, casting a dark cloud over my every joy and opportunity. It took me years to acknowledge my struggle with anxiety, often disguising it as perfectionism. It was a revelation when I realized that perfectionism was merely fear masquerading as something noble. As Elizabeth Gilbert once said, "Perfection is just fear in high heels and a mink coat, pretending to be fancy."

Admitting my vulnerabilities, especially as a psychologist, was a daunting prospect. It meant letting go of the facade of perfection and allowing others to see the rawness of my humanity. But I came to understand that vulnerability is not weakness—it's the birthplace of courage and authenticity.

While fear once served as a shield in my childhood, protecting me from the dangers that lurked in the shadows, anxiety has become a barrier to my happiness and fulfillment. It has held me back from seizing opportunities and kept me trapped in relationships and situations long past their expiration date. The constant whispers of doubt—what if I fail? What if I'm not good enough?—threaten to drown out my inner voice.

But I refuse to let fear and anxiety dictate the course of my life. Instead, I choose to confront them head-on with a resounding "So what?" I am not defined by my flaws or failures; I am defined by my resilience and my capacity for growth. Stepping into the unknown may be terrifying, but it is also exhilarating—it's where true transformation happens.

A dear friend once reminded me that it's okay to be scared, to feel the fear and do it anyway. And so, I've embraced the discomfort, pushing past my anxieties to pursue my dreams. From publishing a book to dancing on TikTok to speaking in front of large audiences, each step forward is a victory over fear.

Fear and anxiety may always be a part of my life, but they no longer hold sway over my decisions. When faced with uncertainty, I choose courage over comfort, growth over stagnation. For in the end, it is not the absence of fear that defines us, but our willingness to confront it and emerge stronger on the other side. So when in doubt, do it scared.